if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
