we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We left the knife in your bed.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
