office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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