She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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