Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
