He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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