im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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