I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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