You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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