weddingsv make me drug and hornr
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
