i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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