Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
