I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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