Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
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I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
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I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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