Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
