areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
