So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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