Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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