Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
