***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
well you can't waste a boner
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
