when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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