You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
