The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
