I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Houston, we have a squirter
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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