You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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