I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
