i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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