all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
