He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
