I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Im part way to drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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