You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
