I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
