dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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