i just had sex bonerless
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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