all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize