my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
