real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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