Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
