you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
