I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
