just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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