it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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