I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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