is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
