Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
