My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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