What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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