I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
