1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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