i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I looked at my own cervix.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
