You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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