a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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