yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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