bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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