Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Maybe he injected his testicle?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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