dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
