It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
