sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
