Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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