i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
