Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
