i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
