This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
